Fears and Vindication

Finals are upon us. A time of trepidation, of fear, but also of vindication.
The holidays are also upon us; likewise, a time of mingled despair and delight.

What am I afraid of? Unreasonably afraid of?
I am afraid of failure, but more than that I am afraid of mediocrity.
Less existentially, I am afraid of food poisoning--I've only had it once, but it left a lasting impression. Salmonella and e. coli especially.
I am afraid of never finding "the One"--the person to spend the rest of my life with.
I am afraid of flying.
Spiders.
Failing medical school and having to live in a box under a bridge.
That I will never be truly happy, because I'll never really know what that even looks like.
That everyone else knows what they're doing, and I somehow missed picking up the secret instruction book that the rest of the world is reading from.
Cancer.

What am I proud of, vindicated about?
That two of my finals are over, and I passed them.
That I've survived this long in one piece (it's been a bigger task than you might think).
That I'm blogging again.
That for the most part I manage to prevent myself from indulging in sophomoric navel-gazing like this.

What about you?