Today's Lessons...

Not necessarily related to class--though some are.

1. No one ever has pheochromocytomas (tumors that produce excess adrenaline and noradrenaline), but lots of people have the symptoms. The symptoms are really common and vague--palpitations, flushing, jitteriness. As an intern, you will run lots of labs trying to track down a "pheo," imagining the 'House'-ready moment when you present your off-the-wall find to your attending and are crowned with laurels and fanned with palm leaves by the more junior medical students. One problem: you will not find them. They are the Easter Bunny, the end of the rainbow. Never there. Oh, and fun learning point: "Pheo" is a root meaning 'dusky.' Guess the tumors are dusky colored.

2. According to several people in my class, "Snickers are the healthiest candy bar. The most protein, the most fiber. No, seriously." I would say that if your eating habits have reached the point that you are SERIOUSLY considering the nutritional merits of Snickers bars, you have bigger problems than that extra 2 grams of fiber can address.

3. Not even the promise of cupcakes was sufficient to lure--I mean, encourage--more than 5 people to come to the Medical Students for Choice meeting. Why? Because another interest group was having a meeting and serving lunch. Since when does lunch beat cupcakes? Especially cupcakes with that layer of frosting that's so thick and firm you can pick it off the pastry and eat it by itself? Damn, now I'm all hungry.

4. In low-bloodflow situations, tissues (including the heart!) are capable of entering a 'hibernating' state where oxygen need is reduced and metabolism slows; upon reperfusion (ie the return of blood to the area) metabolism picks right up again, albeit with modifications--including modifications that are protective in the event of future ischemia! We are truly adaptable creatures.

5. I'm a soprano and all, but hitting a high A (as in, a ledger line above the staff) is...difficult.

6. When you're a medical student, you dissect the aorta and appreciate how thick it is, how muscular while still being elastic and distensible. When the aorta dissects itself--as in advanced syphilis or Marfan's syndrome--it's really, really bad. Rupture and exsanguinate (isn't that a great word? Better than 'bleed out,' in my opinion) in a matter of minutes bad.

7. Waiting for 45 minutes at the reproductive endocrinologist's office with only a People mazagine for company reinforced several things I already know about myself:
a) I think those over-sized sunglasses are a horrible, horrible trend, mostly because I associate them with Paris Hilton and Mary Kate Olsen. Also, they make people look like bugs.
b) I am a fundamentally impatient person. I have a need to be doing SOMEthing at all times. Maybe the Universe is teaching me to be more chill; I don't know.
c) I am out of touch with popular culture, and this does not bother me. I know who Jon and Kate are solely from check-out-stand magazines; I do not care about their family because I have other things to care about, and also because I am strangely immune to the 'cuteness rays' children emit. I spend evenings reading textbooks and writing sonnets rather than watching TV. Does this make me a better person than someone who watches Wheel of Fortune or streams cat videos on YouTube? Yes. Yes, it does.
d) There is no way to make a gyn exam not suck. There are, however, ways to make it suck less--and the rules for an easy exam are surprisingly similar to the rules for good sex. To the patient: relax. Speak up if something hurts. Breathe. For the doctor: Go slow. Explain what you'll be doing before you do it. Warm the speculum, or use a plastic one. Have lube handy. Don't be in a rush, but don't hang out in there forever.