Abstinence Only?

So, thank God, Bush is no longer in the White House...but abstinence only education is still mandated in much of the US by state law. There are still abstinence-only government sites up on the web, too...the most interesting of which is 4parents.gov, which offers help in talking to your kid "early and often about waiting to have sex." Waiting till when? Til 18? 21? Whatever the age of consent is in your state (it's 14 in Missouri, and in some states as low as 12, to which I can only say...ew)? Til they're paying their own mortgage? No, silly...until their state-sanctioned, Judeo-Christian marriage! Which means that if I'm going to wait to have sex, I'll have to hold out until I have enough money to get my ass to Vermont (oh, wait--I could just go to Iowa, but then I'd have to live there permanently, because my marriage wouldn't be recognized in Missouri! Oh Joy!).

4Parents.gov also talks about the 'emotional' risks of early sexual involvement...for instance, girls who have sex, do drugs or drink are more likely to be depressed (first, this seems like a chicken/egg situation, and second, um, it seems a little...odd to put doing meth and doin' the nasty in the same category). Obviously, a middle-schooler isn't emotionally prepared for the sequelae of going all the way...but they're still going to, and perhaps it would be better to talk about REALISTIC ways to protect themselves--being assertive about their boundaries, using condoms and birth control, having sex with peers rather than falling for exploitive 'relationships' with older teens/adults--than to act as if the Magic Wand of Abstinence can make all these issues disappear.

Speaking of, apparently Bristol Palin and Jamie-Lynn Spears are working with the Candie's Foundation (I thought they sold shoes...WTF?) advocating--I kid you not--abstinence. Because, you know, it worked so well for them. So here's the real deal: Abstinence-only education and signing of chastity pledges generally does delay the age at which teens have their first intercourse (obviously we're talking hetero, lingam-in-yoni here). BUT when they do finally break down/give in to Satan/get coerced/whatever, they're less likely to use protection. And y'know what? The fact that you waited until you were 17 doesn't make you any less pregnant or any less infected if you don't use a condom.