And So It Begins.

I've just finished orientation at a certain well-known and fairly prestigious medical school in St. Louis. The white coat ceremony was today, and I have to say I enjoyed it; we read the oath we (as a class) crafted, stating our intent not to shaft our patients, our faculty, or each other, listened to several speakers tell us 1) how awesome we are 2)how awesome Wash-U (damn, I let that slip) is, and 3) that there are wonderful benefits--and grave responsibilities--that come with being a physician.

Somehow I am anticipating that the "y'all are fantastic!" may not carry very much farther into the semester, so I aimed to enjoy it while it was available. Then again, I have a tendency to anticipate the worst and expect people to turn on me without warning or provocation, so that could just be my own neurosis speaking.

The following are some quotes that sum up what this week was all about for me.

"Hi, I'm X. What's your name? Where are you from? Where'd you do undergrad?"-everyone
So I learned that people here are friendly, outgoing, and in some cases (although I think I only met one...) eager to let someone know they went to Harvard.

"If you fail an exam, I'll know, and we'll have a warm and fuzzy chat about how you're doing."
-One of the deans
So it seems people here aren't primarily interested in nailing you to the wall, but rather in ensuring you do well and checking in with you if you're not. I pray to Christ, and Isis, and Buddha, that I don't ever have to have a "So you're screwing up academically" warm-and-fuzzy-conference; however, the overall feeling of someone watching out for you--not in a creepy, Dick-Cheney-who-would-put-cameras-in-every-American's-bathroom-if-he-could way, but in a caring sort of way--is reassuring.

"Additionally, if you have to be taken by ambulance to the ER for alcohol poisoning, I will know that too. And we will have a different sort of chat." -the same dean
Well, I'm on my ass after one drink. The probability that I would drink myself into ethanol toxicity is approximately as remote as the likelihood that all my electrons would suddenly shift phase and transport me to Aruba, a la the Philadelphia project (seriously, the whole Philadelphia project was really cool. Google it, please). Also, Dean X's knowledge and sight is truly without limit, and her reach knows no bounds. Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of medical students? Dean X knows, and she will totally file a professionalism concern form on your ass.

"I woke up on X's couch this morning and didn't know where I was. It took me a full five minutes to figure out what the hell happened last night." -a fellow first-year
So apparently there are others with greater capacity for drink than I, and additionally our class has already begun to bond to the point that we're crashing drunkenly on one another's couches. That's the sort of camaraderie that I think orientation week is meant to foster, no?